At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
The police scanner is talking about you again....
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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