You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
