I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
