We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
