im having a threesome with these popsicles
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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