so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
birth control should be required to get into college
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
