After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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