i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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