is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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