I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
