I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
