Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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