dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
