I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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