Joe is yelling at the trees again.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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