Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
