so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
