I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
