I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
