PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
