i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
