just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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