I want to make a zoo with you.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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