I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Drake has all the answers
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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