I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
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