I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
