Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You made out with two different species that night
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
