guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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