id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I just gargled with NyQuil
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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