someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
