Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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