Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Screwed.edu
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
