If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
