i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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