so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
