i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Randomize
