Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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