btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
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