cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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