everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize