How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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