I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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