Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
