we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
He felt like a one man threesome
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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