it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
