dude i'm inner monologue high
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
