I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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