So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
