So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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