let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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