1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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