We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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