Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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