Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
