"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
i need some magic done to my vagina
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Randomize
