We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
