So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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