Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
