you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
