she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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