look no pants
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
