she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
The uberlube is also flammable
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
