you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I intend to get homeless drunk
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
