We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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