I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
