Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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