they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
