no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
